It’s hard being slightly above mediocre

Oh my God, I know writer’s block isn’t real or whatever, but I’m suffering from it real bad as of late. Unfortunately for you, dear reader(s), I’m launching an emergency Creativity Resuscitation Plan that involves barfing something out onto this blog every single day until I become unstuck. So, prepare yourself for a lot of descriptions of boring food (beans dumped over lettuce, alternating spoonfuls of peanut butter and jelly, etc.), boring people (the completely inconspicuous man who sits next to me on the bus every single day and gets off at the Burger King stop, library patrons, etc.), and other sad attempts to wreak emotion from everything/anything I come in contact with in my daily life.

I’ve always put way too much pressure on myself to be a writer (I mean, Be A Writer!). The cycle is vicious and goes like this:
1. Write dumb thing.
2. Receive praise, not because dumb thing is not dumb but because it is slightly less dumb than the average person’s dumb thing and/or at least has correct grammar.
3. Think, “Oh my God, I’m a rare talent! I’ve got to hit the streets with this!”
4. Sit in front of laptop with intent of writing new dumb thing in the style of the original dumb thing.
5. Become suddenly unable to think of anything at all. The pressure to replicate dumb thing is too great.
6. Facebook for 3-5 hours.
7. Drink.
8. Watch shows on the Internet.
9. Hate myself for not being a writer.

In high school, I was voted Most Likely to Publish a Bestselling Novel. This summer was my 10 year high school reunion, and I never even considered going to it — not only because it’s stupid to hang out with people who were honestly sort of jerks to you during the four worst years of your life (though it is), but because I haven’t lived up to my potential, or at least the potential that my stoned 17 year old peers once thought I possessed. (Also because I’m not married, still have acne.)

So, anyway, I am forcing myself to write something here every day, so that maybe I will learn how to actually write instead of just think that I could potentially be a writer someday and can maybe go to my 20th high school reunion and make out with some dude who wouldn’t even look at me back in AP English.


3 thoughts on “It’s hard being slightly above mediocre

  1. I like reading your blog. 🙂

  2. I do this a lot, only skipping steps 2 and 3.

  3. I seriously need to get back into at least attempting to write every day myself. I used to be really good about churning something out every other day or so (the days in between would generally consist of an hour of Don Music-esque creative self flagellation yielding only two sentences I’d end up rewriting the next day anyway), but I’ve been in a bit of a dry spell lately. So here I am still mired in the middle of a writing project I started in August of 2011 that was supposed to have been done a year ago, while recording for the new Nova Heat album has ground to a halt because half of the songs still have unfinished lyrics. Not a shining picture of creative discipline, that. I do at least end up eventually finishing everything I start, though. Look out for copies of Nova Heat II on the shelves right around the time the last CD store on earth goes out of business.

    Also, you just described the exact thought process that led me to skip my own 10-year high school reunion a couple years back. I didn’t particularly want to spend all night making the rounds and describing my current life situation over and over to people I wasn’t that interested in catching up with anyway. On the other hand, I’m sure I probably missed out on some hellacious cheese dip or something, but that’s life, I suppose.

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