Vacation for Dummies

Oh, hey, no big thing, just going on a mini-break to Boston/NYC this week with my boyfriend. You know, whatever and stuff.


[IMAGE: me as Bridget Jones as Isadora Duncan, speeding down a coastal road in a vintage convertible with a long, gauzy scarf billowing majestically behind me; boyfriend looking handsome and better at navigating, self looking thin and better at makeup].
For people from the Midwest, the big Northeastern cities will always seem slightly magical, even though we know it’s not cool to think big Northeastern cities are magical. The first time I saw a big city (Chicago — granted, still Midwest), I emerged from the subway downtown and literally did the following:

-dropped my bags
-looked up at the tops of the skyscrapers
-spun around slowly, holding onto hat, mouth agape
-said “Golly!” (probably actually “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii–” which is my favorite way of cussing without cussing, because I never say the T)

In the movie of my life, I would be played in this scene by 12-year-old Hayley Mills in a big straw hat.


Anyway, in Boston we’re staying with various friends/family members, then we’re taking the train down to NYC and staying in the cheapest hotel we could find in the Times Square area with both a low roach count and continental breakfast. It happens to be presidential themed. I’m severely hoping the room we get is the Taft room. Taft is so tragic. He did a lot of interesting things but people only remember him for being fat and getting stuck in a bathtub. Just like Mama Cass: arguably one of the finest voices of the last century, yet will always be associated with obesity and meeting her end via sandwich (although it wasn’t actually the sandwich that killed her; she just happened to have a heart attack while eating one).

Taft meme.

Taft meme.

We wanted to see Woody Allen play jazz, but there’s a $135 cover.  So that’s how they keep the tourists out. I always wondered.

This is what I’m most excited about:

Shall report back!*

(*unless I stay forever due to being discovered by Broadway talent scout or a modeling agency that specializes in frumpy almost-30s.)


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