Miscellany

I’ve accepted a challenge from the National Institute of Infrequent Bloggers (NIIB) to post something here every day for a month. The idea is that if you write enough words, eventually you will accidentally write Hamlet — just like all those monkeys in a room with typewriters. I have a story due this Wednesday, and so far I’ve only managed to write the literary equivalent of, I don’t know, a Sweet Valley High novel. Holding out for Hamlet (adjusted for intellectual deflation, of course). So prepare thyself for a barrage of forced posts!

(Just kidding, I’ve made this promise before and usually only make it to day five.)

I worked this weekend at the public library and am sort of stuck in customer service mode, so if I smile and nod at you jovially, don’t let it go to your head. I just talked on the phone with my boyfriend and said, “Okay, well, you have a good night! :D” even though I’m meeting him at the pub in 45 minutes. It always takes me a while to shed my cheery work persona and morph into the natural grump I am. Two hours ago, if a sweet but completely inept old woman asked me to copy 40 pages for her from a quilting magazine ten minutes before close (which, erm, did happen), I would’ve smiled and charmingly chatted about the wonders of her grandchildren. If the same thing happened now, while I sit in bra and shorts (drying out after a sweaty bike ride home) in front of my computer — well, assuming this is some alternate reality nightmare in which library patrons could just wander into my personal residence and ask for help (*cue Psycho violins*) — I would resort to extremely hurtful looks and rude insinuations, if not to certain mild violent acts (wedgies, muffintop pinches, etcetera).

I’ll reiterate my long-held belief that everyone should have to work at least one public service job in their lifetime. Forget the military, Peace Corps, AmeriCorps…just work as a cashier somewhere, so you can see how horrible people are to people sometimes and how un-nice it is to sit there reading your Midwest Living magazine until 5:10 when the library closes at 5:00.

Hmph!

 

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